Graham ...and then some!

FRAUD ALERT – INTERNET SCAMS

Graham — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:02:15 +0000

I don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to this but let me try to help anyone else on the verge of being taken advantage of.

The other day I logged on to the Internet and Yahoo’s Home Page came up.

An article put out by ARA Lifestyle turned out to be an ad about computers that were running slow.

It directed me to a website called Sammsoft offering Advanced Registry Optimizer 5 or ARO 5. They stated that you could try the program for free in the hopes that you would buy it. They also claimed that CNET had awarded four stars in 2007 for their software.

I downloaded the free version. It “found” over 1100 “errors” on my computer. Using DSL, it took 4 1/2 hours to scan my entire PC.

It turns out to be that that scan captured all of my personal information including all of my bank accounts, the bank with whom I do business, credit and debit card numbers used for prior history on supposedly secure servers, back up and emergency support numbers for my company, all of my address information, access to my email account and more.

All company and personal information about me had been captured or in my words, stolen.

My email this morning came from Sonic Solutions. It contained information about me that only two people have access to – my bank and myself. But it is on my computer and in my files.

I was asked to pay an invoice for software called Photo Show 5. I am in advertising and have a lot of creative software. This was not something I ordered. I clicked on a link to find out more information about this “order” I placed and was directed to a site asking for my reference number and my credit card number.

Red flags went up every where.

And today, the results came crashing in when I got an email from a company called Sonic Solutions also listed as Digital River and Sonic Solutions CS. They asked me to pay a third party, Global Collect BV with offices in San Francisco.

I called Global Collect and they immediately said, “obviously sir, you are a victim of internet fraud but we need more information about you”. I realized that they were phishing for more information to try and do further damage.

I asked to be transferred to their corporate offices or legal division. I was told that those offices are in the Netherlands and don’t handle US Affairs.

It turns out to be that they billed my credit cards under the following name:

Zoombli aka Xeriton

and those charges are all tied to the following companies and or names, all of whom have my personal information (this doesn’t mean they are all guilty of fraud but they are all tied to one another for information retrieval and billing and all can be found by searching their name and the word fraud (to see what they have done to others):

ARA Lifestyle

ARA Lifestyle dot com

Advanced System Optimizer

Advanced Registry Optimizer

Yahoo (they placed their advertising link there – it looked like a Yahoo article)

Sonic Solutions

Global Collect BV

(Global Collect advertises that they help prevent fraud – do not be fooled – they will gain access to all of your information, play dumb and ask you to provide more personal information to “resolve” the problem.)

Digital River

Sonic Store

Sonic Store CS

Digital River Customer Service

Zoombli

Xeriton

ARAnet.inc

ARA

ARAlifestyle

ARO

ASO

Additionally beware of Wilco Publishing and Voice Buddy – I was taken for a financial ride by both of them and since they are not US based, have had no luck recovering my money. I had purchased Tower Simulator which never properly worked after six download attempts then sent a letter telling me I was not entitled to recover my money as they have an “all sales are final” statement and their billing company doesn’t issue refunds. They also refused to send me the software on CD and told me to write to the publisher for a solution. The publisher to whom they told me to write was Wilco Publishing – the same people that sent me the letter.

I will add this statement:

Not all of these companies are fraudulent but they do claim affiliations with trusted and reputable companies like CNET, The Better Business Bureau, Yahoo, etc.

I will tell you that I have spent FOUR HOURS dealing with all the damage done to my account and private information. And no one at any of these companies cares. Either they claim International offices with no phone numbers, play dumb or just refuse to hand out information until you give more information about yourself.

I have never been asked to give a credit card number in order to discuss an account unless it was with the company that issued the credit card to me.

This was hastily written to warn others – as the more I googled these named and the word fraud, the more people I found out had been ripped off.

As for me, so far my total lost exceeds $2,000.00. About $65.00 of that amount can be recovered. And I have had to cancel all bank accounts, credit cards, debit cards, change phone numbers, etc as they can take all of this information and sell it to third parties who will begin soliciting to you via the phone.

I now have to pay rush fees, purchase new checks, pay for phone number changes, deal with excessive phone calls on lines reserved for priority calls, etc. I one morning, my financial and functional life has become a nightmare.

And yes, they have all of my non published back up phone numbers and I have been slammed with phone solicitors on phone lines that are restricted to important calls, not published in any manner.

What legal recourse do I have? NONE.

Beware – It is sad to say that some of these companies have apparently illegally used the names of other reputable companies in order to take advantage of comsumers.

Again, I want to make it clear that not all of these companies are out to take advantage of people but they are all linked together in either billing, advertising, or alleged “fraudulent debt resolution”.

An Amateur’s View On ALS – Lou Gehrig’s Disease

Graham — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:46:08 +0000

The setting to Make my Amateur ALS Video

I could really write a book on my friend Mark.

I could tell and share all the ups and downs but more than anything, I want to share a video I made about him and how we communicate.

Mark has ALS and while it may have affected many parts of his life, it has not affected his ability to think, to be receptive to touch, to care – he is all there.

I love Mark, dearly and thanks to the magic of the Internet, you tube, the Erica Eye Gaze System and Dyna Vox, Mark can still communicate though he can’t speak or move his arms or legs.

Most of what I want to say is recorded in two you tube videos – only one has been posted so far due to a PC issue but I will get part two up soon.

For now, in my own voice, here is the video I made about ALS. I made it outside as Mark loves the outdoors – I just didn’t get the lighting right or prepare for mosquitoes. And the editing is, well, non-existent, I just kept talking and got this thing posted as soon as I could.

I just want everyone to know that ALS or “Lou Gehrig’s Disease” isn’t an end to life – Mark is living it the best he can and I am grateful to google and google filters for providing a free service that I can personalize to make communicating with Mark easier.

And here is the first, very raw part……..

The Real Meaning of this Fourth of July Holiday

Graham — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:50:21 +0000

Graham - Author, Amateur Writer, Blogger, and Photographer

This July 4, 2008, I want to re-post a bulletin I posted some time ago. I hope it reminds us all that there have been so many people who gave their entire (and often, short) lives here on this earth for our freedom.

Thanks to those of you who serve and are my contacts here especially JTR.

May Each and Every One of You Have a Very Happy and Safe Fourth of July Holiday!

And May All Your Travels Be Safe Ones!

Warmly,

Graham

PLEASE CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO POP OUT PLAYLIST (right click and open in a new tab, click on “LAUNCH PLAYLIST”, then return to this tab). The music adds to the message.

I was struck today by the memory of 2nd Lieutenant James J. Cathey today when my Todd posted a picture of his body being unloaded from an American Airlines Jet to send him on his final journey home after faithfully serving our country.

His life ended serving our country on August 21, 2005. He was only 24.

I remember seeing the image in the magazine in which it appeared some time ago. I couldn’t find the magazine to scan the image but after enough googling, I found the image and the photographer, Todd Heisler.

Here is the image:

And the text that appeared under the photograph:

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey’s body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. During the arrival of another Marine’s casket last year at Denver International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as one of the most powerful in the process. “See the people in the windows? They sit right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what’s going through their minds, knowing that they’re on the plane that brought him home,” he said. “They’re going to remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. And they should.” © 2005 Rocky Mountain News

Quite fitting that he should be carefully placed on board that American Airlines Plane in their red, white, and blue livery. And then removed in full view of starboard passengers as his family looked on.

Feeling the need to hug her husband and express her grief, this is as close as she gets to his body. The people on the tarmac were speechless as many shared her pain.

But what I remember most about the story was that his wife, pregnant and devastated, asked to sleep next to her husband as he lie in state at the funeral home. I saw this image in my mind and remembered it is what touched me the most.

His wife is viewing their family pictures on a laptop. A small collection of pictures for a couple so young.

Per military requirements, two officers were present throughout the night. No one (to my knowledge) ever denied Mrs. Cathey the right to spend one final evening with her husband even if it was as he lay in peace as his soul prepared to make a final journey home.

Here, Mrs. Cathey places a picture of the most recent ultrasound photograph, confirming they were expecting a son, on her husband’s chest inside his casket.

Her son will never know his Daddy but will always be surrounded by a nation that was caught speechless by the power of these touching and moving photographs:

2nd Lt. James J. Cathey’s Body is prepared for final viewing:

Mrs. Cathey, presses her belly against the casket of her husband for the one last virtual bond between Father and Son…

Officers practice folding a flag the night before the funeral. This would be the first time these two men would have to fold a flag for presentation to the family. They had to get it right. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last time that such a burden would be placed on them.

Jeff Cathey, Father of James, seeks comfort in the embrace of another Officer:

THE OBITUARY:

Sarah Ovaska, Staff Writer
A Camp Lejeune Marine died Sunday in an explosion in Iraq, the Department of Defense announced Tuesday.
Second Lt. James J. Cathey, 24, of Reno, Nev., was killed near Al Karmah, Iraq. He had been in Iraq since mid-July and was on his third mission, said Caroline Cathey, his mother.
He leaves behind his wife Catherine, pregnant with the couple’s first child, and a 9-year-old daughter, Stacy, who lives in Nevada.
“This was just the beginning of their life together, Caroline Cathey said about her son and his wife. They had been married for a little more than a year.
James Cathey served with the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force in Camp Lejeune.
Cathey, who grew up in Reno, finished high school early to join the U.S. Marine Corps. He had wanted to be in the Marine Corps since he was a young boy, his mother said.
He went into the Marine Reserves to attend the University of Colorado at Boulder, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in history and anthropology.
In his free time, Cathey enjoyed hunting chukar, a game bird in the pheasant family, tying flies for fly fishing and shooting skeet, Caroline Cathey said.
He will be buried in Nevada.
In one of his last calls to his mother, he told her he was impressed with Iraqi society. Caroline Cathey asked for support of military personnel still serving in Iraq.
(News researcher Lamara Williams-Hackett contributed to this report.)

And finally a bittersweet gift for Christmas 2005:

Dec 26, 2005 1:34 pm US/Mountain

War Widow Finds Christmas Gift In Newborn Son

Bill Stuart
Reporting

(CBS4) DENVER A woman who lost her husband in the Iraq war gave birth to their son a couple weeks before his due date. The early Christmas present brought hope and joy after a year of war and tragedy.

The baby will never meet his father. The father will live in this Christmas gift, sent to comfort grieving hearts on earth.

“I’ve been kind of afraid that once I had him I would get even more upset about Jim having passed away, but having him has actually helped me,” Katherine Cathey, a widow and mother said.

Second Lt. James Cathey, Katherine’s husband, died one month after he arrived in Iraq. He was killed instantly when he entered a booby trapped building ahead of the Marines under his command. Two days later, his wife Katherine learned that their baby would be a son.

Before Jim was buried, Katherine Cathey spent the last night with her husband. When she closed his coffin, she placed an ultrasound picture of their baby over his heart.

The baby was not due until Jan. 1. Early in the week before Christmas his mother and grandmother felt something was not right so they went into the hospital.

“They got a heartbeat when they put the monitor on but they weren’t sensing that he was moving at all,” Katherine said. “I was very scared.”

Doctors rushed Katherine into the operating room.

“They all for the most part knew I had lost my husband and I couldn’t go through losing the baby too,” Katherine said.

After an emergency caesarean section, James Cathey Jr. (Jimmy, for short) arrived strong and healthy. He was an answer to so many prayers.

“I just looked at his face and that’s when I started crying because I thought he’s so beautiful,” Katherine said. “I really feel like Jim has watched over me and the baby a lot.”

Jim was the kind of son who would make any family proud. He graduated from CU with honors in just 3 years. He led his men by example. He had a sense of humor and he had a sense of honor. Although he never got the news, he knew in his heart that this baby would be a boy.

“His dad was such an amazing person that if he’s anything like his dad he will be an amazing person too,” Katherine said.

Jimmy also has an amazing mother.

“She’s been so strong,” one relative said. “She’s been an inspiration to all of us.”

Katherine Cathey, a widow before her first wedding anniversary, has a true Christmas gift.

“When Jim would sleep, he did this funny thing with his lips and the baby does the same thing,” Katherine said. “I felt, in a way, like I had him back kind of. He makes me really happy. So happy that you cry.”

Katherine has made a separate peace far from the battlefield that took her husband and Jimmy’s father before his time.

“I’m at peace knowing that my husband loved me very much and I loved him very much,” Katherine said. “We brought a child into this world. He’s a miracle and he’ll be something that will bring joy to my life for the rest of my life.”

2nd Lieutenant and Mrs. James j. Cathey:

SOME OF OUR MOST RECENT FALLEN SOLDIERS:

…

I never speak out on the war but these images, coupled by the recent headlines that we have lost over 4,000 people in this war bothers me. I am numb. It hurt as much today to see these picture as it did in 2005 when this happened.

I have friends that served in the war. I know people that are there now. And every day I ask why. I won’t express my opinion other than to say that I hurt for the people that hurt as their loved ones, their daughters and sons, wives and husbands, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country – their lives.

The response I have received from so many people has been overwhelming. This was shared with many people – without my knowledge but any of you are free to repost it.

The most touching replies were from those people in uniform themselves. More than once I received replies stating “You put this soldier in tears”. That is touching. If I can move one person to try and make sense of all of this and make a difference in a soldier’s life, then I have finally done something good for the day.

You may keep writing – your words move me and I will reply to everyone.

And for those who asked about sending add requests, the last name code is Kslc. I never wanted to publish that information, but having friends and former family who served, I don’t want to deny any one the right to stay in touch – including the three myspace soldiers who were already friends of mine here. All three of you who serve our country have a special place in my heart. I can’t and don’t always write but I do pray and each of you are in my prayers.

Tonight I went to Mass for Reflection and Had an Opportunity to Photograph the Church I grew up in. It has been completely renovated and is full of warm colors. I love going there. It’s hard to believe this was once a very dark cold Blue and Brown Interior that scared me as a small child.

After researching this, I found myself caught in the middle of it all – feeling lost. I needed to go to Church tonight and reflect. Sunday morning was just too far away…

Some Pictures and My Thoughts On What I Saw…

This Is The Painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary above the Altar with Angels painted by an Artist at the turn of the century:

This Is The Painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary above the Altar with Real Angels That Are Now In Heaven:

It Does Make Me Think About How Serious All of this really is when I started looking at just a few of the 4,000 faces and reading just a handful of all the loved ones these dear people left behind.

I can only nod and lower my head in disbelief. And keep praying.

PLAYLIST:

Many don’t agree with war. I don’t. I won’t elaborate to avoid controversy.

I couldn’t sleep tonight. If my not sleeping and researching this until I found the pictures that moved me to tears over two and half years ago (and did the same thing this evening) can move others to say stop the killing of the innocent – OUR innocent soldiers, then maybe I have done some good some where.

But it is also a time to remind people that our soldiers need care packages on a regular basis. There are many web sites that suggest package items as well as give advice on how to carefully pack such boxes. Other sites will sell you a pre-made care package and mail it to the soldier of your choice. There are also links to lists of soldiers who need packages who don’t have families that are able to send things to them.

My suggestion to finding this information is to google the following words:

“care packages to soldiers”

And your options will be endless. Thanks on behalf of all who serve our country for thinking of these women and men throughout the year and not just the holidays.

One final note, some of my contacts here are religious and a few are not. For those of you who are, keep these special women and men in your prayers daily. Even if you don’t support the war, you should support our troops.

Warmly,

Graham

The Professional Photographs of the Cathey Family were all taken by Todd Heisler (Pictured Below) who generously shared these touching photographs with news agencies and individuals around the globe:

TO VIEW MORE OF THE FACES OF OUR FALLEN SOLDIERS:

http://www.legacy.com/Soldier/home.aspx
This was written (except where quoted from other sources) and posted by Graham on myspace. Your feedback can be sent to:

myspace.com/bestwings

Graham:

Seattle Pride 2008

Graham — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:50:24 +0000

Graham, Amateur Photographer, Amateur Blogger

I will make this brief. I attended the Seattle Pride 2008 Parade and had a blast. Well, taking pictures – all 1,388 of them.

There were so many pictures that I added them to a myspace page to show a sample of what I captured. The rest can be found on flickr in the group 2008 Seattle Pride (the link is on the myspace page). In order to see all of the pictures, you must join the group – warning there is some nudity in the full photo set.

Here are a few pics to give you a bird’s eye view of what I took – and there is so much more.

The rest are on www.myspace.com/seattlepride2008 – my friend Bill also contributed some pics to my page there as well.

Hot Seattle Pride Volunteer Cools off in an open Fire Hydrant

Gay Soccer Player - I lucked out on getting the ball in this one.

These Guys were Rockin\

One Good Reason to Fly Alaska Airlines - Hot Flight Attendants!

More Pride With Alaska Airlines

Those Who Serve Our Country with Pride

Gay Dad and His Daughter

Gay Amazon Employee

From My Friend Bill

Boys In the Fountain - also from Bill

The Party In the Fountain - From Bill

Baboo aka “Aunt Maxine” the Original Grande Dame of the South

Graham — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:56:19 +0000

Sometimes I wonder why it is that when people get older they think it is okay to give away used presents?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I loved my Grandmother but I don’t think she ever gave anyone anything that was new or even not on the “reduced for quick sale” shelf.

She would give away bottles of Prince Matchabelli Cologne that were so old that you’d be better off drinking them instead of wearing them cause all you could smell was the alcohol which had more value than the cologne supposedly did.

And some of our relatives really needed the alcohol based on their lives. JK.

My Grandmother prided herself in throwing the last few coins at a store’s bottom line as they closed their doors forever. She was also the master of re-gifting.

I loved it until she got older and I had to wrap 110 presents every year. And just what were these presents? Well, lots of the same stuff – nail polish that was so old it couldn’t be remixed to make one color – the chemicals just floated around on top occasionally marbled in with the actual pigment.

Rusty nail clippers. Must have been a leak in the store ceiling and they were probably ten pairs for a dollar. Maybe twenty. And what were they packaged in? A jewelry box of course.

Some lucky relative would get a $750.00 ring or something and the salesperson ringing up the sale would enquire, “Now, Ma’am, is there anything else I can get for you today?”

“Why yes, dear, so glad you asked. I’d like a case of those handsome and stately looking navy boxes with the glossy finish like the one you just gave that lady”.”Well, ma’am those boxes are rather expensive and we only give them out with a purchase”. “Well I am purchasing this ring, I’ll take fifty of them, dear”.

“I’m sorry ma’am I just can’t do that I could lose my job”. “Well, Matthew, is it, I can’t read your tag, something Biblical I do recall, you are a handsome one.

Now I am going to give you my business card – it is green and white with one of our very popular President’s on it – oh, look, I have two of them. You can trade them at the lunch counter at Woolworths for your girl – surprise her one day on her break from the office”. “Ma’am really I can’t” (besides Woolworth’s closed down about twenty years ago). “Well, it is OUR little secret”. Seeing the pictures of Honest Abe, again stating, “Ma’am I just can’t do that”.

“Well, I never, I just won’t, I just, well, I, I am old enough to be your Mother, now dear, do you want that sale or not?” “I can always go to Beckner’s Fine Jewelers where I have traded with them since 1947.” (Beckner’s closed in 1979 for the record). You wouldn’t want to lose that commission”.

“Ma’am I am sorry but I just can’t do that”. “Okay, dear, may I speak with your manager?” “Certainly”.

“Hello (glancing over her glasses to read his name tag), Bill, I’m Maxine P. You may call me Mrs. P because of the difference in our ages”.Obviously you are a handsome and dashing young man with ambitions of sitting on the board of this company some day. And I’d like to help you get there.”

“Let me tell you what I’d like to do”.

At this time, she places her right hand on his then very slowly places her left hand on top of her right hand with her beautifully polished nails revealing two very large rocks given two her by my Grandfather.

At the time the combined value of the two rings was $32,000.00 Something only Fred Flintstone could appreciate while sitting in Milbourne Dryesdale’s office. And all the while making the average person on the street think of the fact that things that big (and expensive) should come with a steering wheel.

“Here is what I am going to do, reaching into her purse, she removes the two white gloves she no longer wears in public as women stopped doing that years ago but it still makes a statement that she would wear them if they were still the “in” thing to do because she is a grand dame of the South and a perfect lady in every sense of the word in her eyes.

Placing the gloves on the counter, she pulls out a light blue pin striped business size check of Boss Hog fame including a six digit check number (yes, in relation to the Boss Hog comment, every car she ever owned was a Cadillac – always the biggest one available sans the bull horns of course in favor of the traditional wreath and crest of GM’s finest product).

“Now dear, what is your favorite number?” “Seven, how nice, Here is a check for $27.00, and I’ll take TWO cases of those handsome blue boxes.”

Yes, she has now increased the quantity as the price has gone from ten dollars to $37.00. I always wanted to stand there with a flash card with the number nine on it so they’d get the $29.00 check.I knew this technique all too well.After all, she was a fan of Mr. Barker of Price is Right fame and did her own deals like this on a regular basis. People who favored the number one got the raw end of the deal.

Leaving the store with two cases of gift boxes, the sales rep states” Now, Mrs. P if there is ever anything else you need you just let me know”. “Why yes, dear, ribbon and tissue paper – you almost forgot to give it to me.” Only my Grandmother. She was a classic.

So each year, it became my job to package and wrap these “gifts”.

I do a beautiful job of wrapping presents by the way (what do you expect, so I’m gay, I also climb on the wings during pre-flight to check fuel but you don’t hear anyone accuse me of being straight).

I would put a little strip of paper on the outside telling what was on the inside. I never printed anything like ‘melted lipstick – looks like a rough summer blend’ or ‘melted lipstick – obviously the lipstick melted in the sun at the sidewalk sale as the carpet was being removed from the store for non payment and therefore can’t be twisted up for application’.

Yes, lipstick was the only thing on the tag. Or nail clippers. Or a set of emery boards with the TWA logo on them or Pan Am eye shades or BOAC drink stirs, a set of five in light blue (BOAC was the British Overseas Airways Corporation now known as British Airways).

She traveled the globe and I firmly believe that her carry on baggage was empty when brought on board and stuffed to the max when she deplaned.

We had more airline items than you could imagine. Yes, when she passed away, she still had smoked almonds in packages that still had the NAVY Piedmont Airlines logo on them and a picture of a spiffy DC-7 on the back.

Of course, there were also the famous Planters Dry roasted peanuts in the baby blue and white packaging with the guppy on the back – 737 with air stairs providing service to her open air, six gate airport – I am not kidding – where only gates one and five were ever used.

One was Piedmont and Five was United. Occasionally Hughes Airwest shared gate one and I think all of the other gates existed because of the spacing between the concrete pillars and the fact that a bored airport employee really wanted to use the numbers two, three, four and six as well to stay busy that day.

Oh the stories I can tell about that airport and Aunt Janie. I must find the pics and re post this.

This year I saw my Mom drift into that Category.

She did alright for Christmas – I got flannel sheets but no flannel boyfriend. Hehe.

Oh, but my Birthday gift was classic – a can opener she bought in 1983. Do you realize that some of my contacts here were not even born in ’83 yet? Strange.

I have never owned an electric can opener so I placed it somewhere special — under the sink where the cleaning supplies are. Now Audrey (my housekeeper) can open the cans of Comet and Ajax with flair. Hehe. Yeah, I really do use that stuff. Mix it with Kaboom and that will take the paint off the walls, or the skin off your b*lls! hehe oops- and this is why I don’t blog openly because of slip ups like that one.

Wait, I’ve got it. I will establish another site here. Private but will let almost anyone join it. I will not share my name and pic or maybe I will. I have racy material.

Again, I am not always trying to be an angel and do enjoy making others laugh. But I have so many conservative gay friends. Yeah, that could only happen to me. Their idea of sex is comparing notes over the phone of college admission website pics. hehe.

The Gore-Rilla Boys…… My Friends Craig and Clay

Graham — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:12:25 +0000

I am from the South originally. I have a lot to say and have no real life so I love to share things that are on the brain – just a little too much at times I am afraid.

Take my friends Clay and Craig. These guys are like saints when it comes to listening.

Craig calls in the mornings from time to time on his very long commute to another planet for work where he teaches ten year olds something or another.

He is the only person I know that owns an industrial hole punch machine capable of punching holes in 2500 sheets of paper at one time.

Craig is the type of friend I love to have cause I can tell him anything, he laughs at my lame jokes, and he has a killer smile – oh yeah, his boyfriend is hot, too but I wouldn’t ever in my entire life want him as a teacher. Those poor kids. They don’t have a chance. Sometimes I think he chains them to the desk to be sure no one attempts a massive walkout during his class.

He documents everything they do – even the hole punching thing is so they won’t lose anything – ever. He probably has a pet that sits there and scans each student’s work so a final copy is never altered.

And he is very smart – never debate this man. You will never win. His family wanted him to be an attorney but he decided he would share the powerful gift of knowledge instead thus guaranteeing him a life of under-payment and under-appreciation.

He is the only person I know who speaks more languages than I have fingers. And if your first name is Habib and your last name has 21 consonants and one vowel in it, chances are not only can he properly pronounce your last name because he once lived in your native country, but can also tell you about your crazy aunt who was the talk of the village.

He is short – not real short put it is like a package deal. Knowledge is power and I wouldn’t want to challenge him to anything that I didn’t know like the back of my hand.

The most frightening thing he ever said to me was “well, I disagree and let me tell you why….” Yeah, I froze in my tracks.

Hehe – if you are reading this Craig you know I love you like a neighbor who doesn’t mow their lawn – ever! hehe, again, just kidding.

Talking to Craig is cool cause he never interrupts – verbally. But the noises I hear in that car are something else. They are so bad that I used to have to stop and ask what was going on. Now I know most of the sounds by heart.

I can point out a bad truckers, a squealing pedestrian, a fist pounding on the window, the sound of the breeze as he putters down the highway like a 747 on a short field take off – translated, he thinks his spouse drives fast – well, either that is some really loud Texas wind or Craig lost a foot years ago and couldn’t afford a prosthesis so he opted for an anvil instead.

No doubt in my mind that with 20 degrees of flaps and that boy’s one hour commute would be a ten minute cruise under IAH airspace. A morning without Craig on the phone these days, requires me to drink tea as something has to get my adrenaline going. Talking to him does that.

I now know a really unique sound which is the sound of him opening the car door at a tool booth. Why would one do such a thing if the window works? To collect loose change that has been left on the ground or in the change receptacle.

I firmly believe that the citizens of the great state of Texas purchase snacks for Craig on a daily basis by way of failing to collect change. And he says that this is legal. I guess so. I wouldn’t make a u-turn on a 16 lane highway with four HOV lanes two bike lanes and four service lanes to go and pick up that nickel I dropped. I’d have to think twice if it were a quarter, however.

Now, about Clay, he is just too sweet to tell me to shut up that he is bored. He goes and gets in the car but doesn’t drive anywhere – to my knowledge. He smokes so maybe he is being kind to his hubby by not doing it in the house.

And I am sure that there are periods where he falls into REM sleep but I never know it because I never shut up long enough to take a breath and listen to see if HE is still breathing better yet snoring.

Clay is younger than I but I do look up to him as a father figure, well till he told me what he said in Wal*Mart one day. Yeah, I LMAO at that one. I’ll put a link here somewhere and you can ask him what he said.

So, when I can’t bother Craig and Clay (I was lost this morning as Craig wasn’t driving to work and I had no one with whom to share my occasionally odd thoughts), I want to blog.

But my thoughts at times are racy and can be of an adult nature though sometime interesting and informative in content. Yeah, along the lines of “Everything you wanted to know about (insert something related to sex, gay people, or aviation here) but were afraid to ask”.

Craig and Clay

“Maybe We Can Make Friendship Under Blanket….”

Graham — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:19:28 +0000

Playlist to go with this blog (right click on POP OUT PLAYER and select open in new tab) then click back onto this page and you can read while you hear the music. This works best in Explorer 7.

“Maybe we can make friendship under blanket”

Yeah, okay wtf? I joined My Partner dot com a while back and got a message on my phone that this guy named Gary, yeah, GARY sent me a message and wants to know more about me.

This is what I saw when I opened my mail:

***If you can’t read this due to the small print (this site limits the size of pics) here is what it says…….

“User Offline

I’m Gerey from Asbury Park, New Jersey, US and I have a message for you:

Received: Mon Feb 18, 2008

Subject: Hi……….

Hello!

How are you? I have noticed your profile and I like it.I have decided to write a message for you.I never thought that I will write first.If you not against ,we may know each other more.Say me, what do you think about it? I hope we can make the correspondence with each other.Iwill wait for your letter or any answer at paradiko25atyahoo dot com

The best regards,Mihail…”

*All typos as they appeared in the message

What the f*ck! Pardon the expression. This is the worst of all the dating sites I have ever tried. This guy goes by three different names. I’m not sure if the guy in the picture even speaks English or knows what his real name or screen name or alias is. But I don’t doubt that he was full of Vodka when the pic was made.

Let’s face it, I am no Greek Adonis Prized male. I’ve worked really hard to lower my standards. I have them down as follows:

1. Must clip nails – fingers and toes

2. Shaves at least once every three days.

3. Must shower daily

4. Chews with his mouth closed

5. Speaks English on a first grade level (I can either teach him more in the future or he can just remain quiet around me).

6. Is breathing, has a pulse.

7. Has some form of ID – Driver’s License, State ID, Passport, VISA, Green Card (to him he is thinking a hot AMEX card), Illegal Alien Summons, Speeding ticket, Parking ticket, whatever.

8. Proof of residency: Power Bill, Phone Bill, Cable Bill,Garbage Bill. If he can’t produce one of these, then a cut off notice or collection notice for any of those companies will suffice.

9. Has some type of income (no, I don’t want to know how he got it, just don’t expect me to pay for everything).

10. Has at least one living relative on the globe. Anywhere.

11. Is housebroken.

12. Doesn’t do drag (I know three people that now hate me with this statement). Sorry, I just can’t accept or understand that one as hard as I wanted to try. I’ll make an exception for Halloween where it is just a known fact that that is the one day of the year that a gay man can let his inner girl child come out.

13. Knows how to operate a hammer without a picture based tutorial

14. Won’t make passes at the yardmen or the housekeeper.

15. Can identify and operate a toothbrush and toothpaste at least three times a day.

16. Doesn’t have a drug habit and is not a card carrying member of Alcoholics Associated

17. When he opens his mouth, his purse doesn’t fall out. Translated – sounds so gay that you are tempted to ask if he plans to run the local GAP store. Yeah, I am pissing off people right and left at the moment.

18. Has some religious belief. So I am gay and still believe in God. I don’t have time to justify or explain all of that in this blog/complaint/bulletin/gripe session.

19. Has a firm handshake

20. Owns and wears at least one pair of white underwear (and if all he owns are black, he can keep walking).

21. Looks? You must be kidding. As we speak I am surrounded by lamps that all burn 7 watt light bulbs. Any other lights in the house are on dimmers. Mixed with four drinks and they will look like Prince Charming when the sun is down. I don’t think it is realistic to ask for a guy who is attractive. That’s more like a wish and I’m over the whole wishing thing.

22. Common sense. Yeah, I can over look that one, too. Dumb as a box of rocks? If he owns a pair of overalls, was found working on a farm, or is from the country/hills, then he is exempt from that one as well.

And to think, that is after I narrowed my 23-Chapter handbook down to a list.

Well, I could list more but, this has been a joke. I spend more damned time trying to market myself then I do work it seems. And that is a job in itself.

Where the hell is the entrepreneurial spirit for a company like rent a date or rent a boyfriend or lease a husband? Or in my case, finance a significant other for life.

Maybe I should be starting that kind of company and not a charter airline. Pissed, mad, irritable, crotchety, frustrated – did someone call me? Maybe just a little. Sure I will answer to any of those words along with geek, nerd and fag. Though I’m not real big on fag. I will NOT answer to girlfriend or princess, however. Bitch I will answer to for my straight friend Kevin because it is his way of showing acceptance – again another blog for another day.

I am convinced that all of the good guys are taken. I have four here that I really like but two are taken (with each other but I love them and forgive them for screwing up the whole concept of a typical gay relationship where one guy is hot and has no life ambition and the other one is less than attractive and keeps his boyfriend up – they are both hot, have jobs, and are kind people – how in the heck did that happen? Just kidding Gore-Rilla peeps – you know I still love you both.) Another one has a boyfriend but dates other people and the other has no idea that I still like him though I expressed it some time ago. The last one is single but he likes someone. I think he lost interest in me some time ago.

Well, it is official. Anytime I need an excuse to drink alone, I can go to mypartner dot com and read my one and only letter that was a response to their long ass survey about me and what I am seeking in life. 200,000 men and I can’t even get one that speaks English as a second language.

Yes, his email is on the clip. Do you really think I care? I am sure there is a staff of Russian men working for peanuts that write these letters, throw some pics together from Clearasil that were marked “BEFORE” and reply to loser members like me to make us feel that our $39.95 was well spent.

Believe me, no reply would have been a better sign. That letter makes me think of someone who went on the Price is Right and almost won a car but instead got stuck with a goat. Well, that would have been “Lets Make A Deal” but some people aren’t old enough to remember that show.

This is the last year that I will be in my 30’s and it has gone down hill since my birthday.

I’d buy a blow up doll but with my luck, he’d either have a leak somewhere or I would cut my self on some jagged plastic edge that the factory worker forgot to trim and melt down. I really don’t need a cut on any private area of my body.

And I don’t need to go see a urologist for a second time in my life. The first time I was in college and my girlfriend decided to sprain my penis during the height of the moment to be sure that it was as good for her as it would have been for me (had that incident not taken place) Yeah, she was the one with the great orgasm that day and I was the one who wanted to cry after sex.

I went to my best friend’s dad who told me he had seen “tons of purple penises” in his practice and that is was a simple sprain.

Let me tell you, there is no such thing as a simple sprain when it comes to that body part. And seriously, that kinda stuff could only happen to me. That was the last female I ever slept with.

Okay, I vented. Now I need a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps and a straw. Yes, my very gay side, my inner bitch just came out. And I don’t say that often. Often enough, I am now thinking.

I can name 12 people right now that if they read this would not only delete me but also block me right after sending their letter of hate to me. Oh well. Guess I am still bent out of shape a bit. I’ll get over it.

And there is your proof. I can be a nice guy but sometimes I have to be human. And my human side is in a bad mood at the moment.

***Ignore typos – I just write this stuff. If I read it, I’d be more depressed than when I started.

…

Basically I should just go suck a lemon (here is the way I’d do it):

…

His Incentive to work (Gerey, Gary, Miahil, Paradiko, or whatever his real name is)….

…

My Incentive to lower standards…

…

Be sure to throw these in (no need for a glass):

…

And, as a side note, here is a copy of the email I just received from myPartner dot com, who refused to refund my money (after several people told me they got the same e-mail from this “Gary” dude and made the staff at MP aware of the situation – so no, this wasn’t a real reply but it was the only one I got after writing my life story and wasting $39.95 to have it posted)……..

Dear friend of myPartner! (I am not a FRIEND, rather disgruntled victim)

myPartner.com is looking for couples who have met via our website!
If you know of men who have fallen in love after meeting on myPartner.com, please contact our offices ASAP! We are planning something VERY SPECIAL for one lucky couple on July 25th in San Francisco.

We’ll need both men’s full names, addresses, email and phone numbers. Their myPartner user names will also be needed (however not initially).

Sincerely,

Adam (withheld out of minimal respect)

Concierge

myPartner dot com
415.000.0000

***And for the record when I told them I would blog this, using a screen capture, they said “Go Ahead, we don’t care” followed by, “where can we see it”. I told them to google their site and maybe they’d eventually find the link – you know, the way they eventually found me stupid enough to enroll in their service.

Dating Someone With a Disability……by Graham

Graham — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 06:18:12 +0000

Click “POP OUT PLAYER” Below to Launch Player then close the big black window out – that way you can read my blog and hear the music that I feel applies to the blog (or just right click and select open up in new tab, then go back to this tab – works best using Explorer 7)…..

THIS IS THE BLOG I WROTE ON MY MAIN MYSPACE PAGE THAT WAS REQUESTED AS A REPOST ON AN OPEN PAGE SO I PUT IT HERE….
I thought I had written a pretty sensitive blog (which follows) but it offended some people and I am not sure why.
The point that I was trying to make is that the right person for me (or you or anyone else out there who is still single, for that matter) may not have the courage or the access to try and meet someone due to their challenges – physical or otherwise.
I am sorry if I offended a few people who think I should be satisfied to try and find someone who hangs out in bars all the time.

But let me put my foot down and firmly disagree. I raised someone with disabilities and I know their fears and I’ve had to share their pain.
I remember my Mom crying when I was in 7th grade and a guy invited her to the lake and remarked on the boat that she had ugly feet, and returned her to the shore. Mom is missing two toes on one foot and one on the other.
And here is the bulletin that proved seven of my contacts are so self centered and self absorbed, that they can only think of themselves and not others…….

(PS- Sorry for sounding irritable but this kinda struck a raw nerve with me)

I sat down to waste some time this morning to avoid playing the piano to give my neighbors some peace.
I am in the mood for heavy tunes at the moment – my sheet music collection (in most people’s mind) sucks but there are some tunes that are still Jazz or Broadway that sound great with a loud sound. Others allow me to play softly, slowly, and gently and I enjoy that as well. The piano is the one thing I can do to express how I feel without feelings disappointed or frustrated.
But this blog is not about that.
I am writing because a friend of mine posted a survey and one of his questions was:

7. What actor/actress would you go gay/lesbian for?

Well, I had to think on that one and what came to mind was a bit surprising…..
I really can’t think of an actress that I would go straight for but I did think of a friend’s wife. Now, right there, stop. That is not like me and I would never ever consider pursuing that unless she were to get divorced. And even then I doubt that it would ever work.

Also let me preface this to my local straight peeps whom are married – this is not YOUR wife nor YOU and neither one of them are contacts on myspace.
She is sweet, attractive, talented, and handicapped. I don’t approve of the way her husband treats her at times – he is a personal friend – I knew him before they were married. She puts up with alot from him and I feel I have my hands tied in their presence. I know he is frustrated with her. The worst thing is when he makes her cry and I feel helpless. Sometimes I think she feels the same way.

Well, this led me to a lot of things. The first is the whole gay issue. I’m always going to be attracted to guys and I know that. But I honestly would give almost anything for a sweet, soft spoken person in my life. I can name three people who fit that bill and she is one, the other is too young (and I can’t deal with the age gap) and the final one is perfect but I am not his “type” so I just accept it.
But it also led me to believe that somewhere out there, there is a soft spoken, sweet, and gentle person. And that is what I want. Goodness knows I make enough racket and create too much excitement if I am left alone in a room with no one and nothing but a mirror – hehe – dangerous thought. I’m from the South and Southerners love to talk. And I am hyper and that only makes it worse. Close friends know they have to fight to get a word in. Strangers would never know this about me as I am very quiet around new people while I observe to see if the “real” (read in to this real goofy, silly boy who never grew up and it just a big kid) me would actually fit in.
Now add to all of this a disability. I raised a handicapped Mom in a home without a Dad. I’ve done things that most kids would never imagine doing for anyone – and at an early age. And I don’t mind. I was once my Mom’s best friend until I came out and that was the end of that. And that is for another blog on another day. I do still love her and yes am still renovating her house completely and making it more handicapped accessible and handicapped friendly. She is so afraid that we were going to put her in a nursing home and I think this proves to her that we are not.
Back to the dating thing. Just like I would love to adopt a special needs child (see www.myspace.com/grahamwish39 – my post from January), I wouldn’t mind having a special needs boyfriend. I really don’t care if a part or limb is missing. So what, no one is perfect. I have always been a personality person and as long as that person can accept himself and love himself for whom he is, that is all that matters.
Sure, I joke about not dating all the time. But the reality is that I am not getting any younger and would love to have that special person in my life.
I once dated a straight guy – yes, you read that right, he was recently divorced and not because he was gay. He had recently lost a leg and we had become quite close.
One day he was having phantom pains and when they stopped he cried and expressed his frustration and asked for a hug. Then he cried more, letting it out and to fast forward through probably TMI and boring stuff, we ended up kissing. He was very passionate and a damned good kisser, great personality but didn’t want another guy – nothing sexual ever happened but these times together were always passionate in that sense (kissing, holding, massage, back scratching). And he was deep in character and soft spoken.

When I moved I never said goodbye because I felt I’d never see him again and that if I did, it would only make things worse.
But what I remember is even though nothing sexual happened, I felt loved and still felt the magic of that first kiss – sort of like my high school dates growing up. I was never sexual but my heart raced just as fast and beat just as hard in the middle of a gentle yet very passionate kiss.
Weird that I think like this, I know. But I am also a very passionate person.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my times when I think from a sexually based perspective which is a common trait for all men. But passion is key and a prelude to sex in my book.

So, here is where I am going with all of this…….

It wouldn’t bother me to date someone who needs extra time to get ready in the morning or help getting around or any other special need. I’d be happy if they just had an honest open personality and had some sense of wanting a family (not necessarily our own kids though that would be nice down the road). I’d love to have another half, a better half (who wouldn’t?).

I do have some good qualities and the right person can bring those out in me. Looks aren’t everything but personality sure is. I would say age doesn’t matter but it does. Too young is thin ice and too old makes me uncomfortable – more on that one later. After all, I am getting old myself.

I went out last night, again, alone and realized that while I go out to unwind, I never really want to meet someone in a bar. I always come home disappointed and alone but I arrive with the reality check of “That is not for you (me)”
I remember my first High School guy crush and it was a guy who had a red birthmark over about 50 percent of his face. He was still handsome and had great features and was the only Senior I knew that would be nice to a sophomore. I don’t recall his name (and local peeps if you recall, please let me know). But he was kind and generous and soft spoken and had an incredible smile. His picture, however, never appeared in our Yearbook and I think that was at his request.
Not everyone fits the bill in this department, but I am putting it out there because not everyone knows this side of me. Too many people want a Greek Adonis and I am one that doesn’t. I just want one person to share everything with and that is all. We will get through his hang ups (and mine).
So, if anyone knows of someone who may be of interest, let me know. Love is a grand and a glorious thing – as I recall from a song somewhere. It is also magical, mysterious, and rewarding. Sex is great, too, but in the end if it is only sex, it is shallow and has no meaning.

I have known this for years but for the first time I am just accepting that fact. Sex alone will never make one happy as there is no love there.
I want to elaborate more but that will have to be somewhere else in a myspace page that I keep saying I will create where these topics will be regular items – but on a platform that won’t offend people.
This was written quickly so please ignore typos – many of you know I have limited use of my left hand which has made typing and playing piano difficult and I do slip up at times. Especially when I type quickly.

More to you later. Send me your feedback on this one. Especially if there is a dating site for people with disabilities – I have yet to find one. Perhaps that is the direction in which I am supposed to be heading at this point in my life.
I know I have a calling out there somewhere – it is just still undefined at the moment. Maybe part of that calling is being the other half to someone who really needs it.

Graham —=.0.=—
my regular myspace account is:
www.myspace.com/bestwings

THE URL TO THIS PAGE IS:

http://grahamkmem.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/graham-on-dating-someone-with-a-disability/

More about my writing here:

www.myspace.com/grahamwish39 (adoption)

www.myspace.com/rememberkeith (loss of best friend)

www.myspace.com/grahamusa (fallen soldiers)

A Clip from My Note to Travis when he asked about my piano……

Graham — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 05:57:39 +0000

The origin of my piano was Italy where the cabinet was made. It was made in 1936 and then left in storage until the end of the war in 1945. It was outfitted with American Made Parts from Baldwin in 1948.

It had been in my Grandmother’s house until her death in 1999. I had it until 2000 and then my Mom gave it to my sister in law for my nieces to take lessons. They both hated it and my sister in law held onto it forever. I did some research and found out what it was worth, and let me put it this way, I am glad I bought it back from her as it is a gem.

It needs to be refinished (in my opinion) but for now a few touch ups would be fine. The guy working on it just gave me the history of it. At the time it was built, it was considered the top of the line and to this day is a collector’s item.

I used to play “Misty” for my Grandmother all the time as it was her favorite song. I told the tuner that earlier as I commented if I had gotten one dollar for each time I played it over the years, I’d be a wealthy man.

Well, he just played “Misty” PLAY MISTY the first time it was played on that piano since her death as I could never bring myself to play it right after she died. I cried and feel so stupid – didn’t know it would bring up such bold memories but my Grandmother was like a Mother to me.

The memories came rushing back and it was too much to try and hold back the tears, I turned around and he saw my face and finished the song. That was for my Grandmother. Wow. I will place her picture on top of it.